Things to Do When Your Military S.O. Is Away

Whether if you’re a girlfriend, fiancee, or wife (or vice versa for males), when your significant other leaves for several weeks or months, it’s hard. Really hard. Especially when talking with them is extremely limited. There are many ways you can make the time go by faster and take your mind off missing them.

1. Volunteer

There are so many ways you can volunteer in your local community. I personally volunteer at my local church and food bank. You can volunteer at a homeless shelter, animal shelter, hospital, youth program, and so much more.

I’m willing to bet there is something you are passionate about, so use that passion and make a difference. Many of these places rely on volunteers to stay open. Make a quick Google search and see how you can help out your community. I feel so humbled when I volunteer, and it’s one thing to look forward to each week.

2. Take Care of Their Things

If you do not live with your significant other, set aside some time each week to clean up their home. Can you imagine being gone for several months and coming back to a house filled with dust and germs? I make sure I clean my boyfriend’s apartment at least every other week so it stays clean for him.

If you do live with them, you can wash their car while they’re gone. Cars can get so dirty when they sit for several months. It’s also good to start vehicles every week or so. Spend some time hand washing your S.O.’s car or truck and make sure it doesn’t need any servicing.

3. Hang Out With Friends

I’m mostly preaching to the introverts out there. It can be easy to sit at home and block out the rest of the world when you’re dealing with something. I know I’ve been there. Ask a friend to coffee or dinner at least once a week. At first you may think, I’m so upset, the last thing I want to do is get ready and see people. The truth is, you feel great afterward. Time flies when you’re having a great conversation with a good friend.

4. Get Healthy!

The most common excuse for not working out is a lack of time. Now that your S.O. is away and you have time on your hands, make a point to get in shape. Spend at least an hour a day walking, running, or lifting weights. You can also spend time making your own healthy meals at home, instead of spending money on unhealthy fast-food.

If you have read my blog before, you know that I consider mental health as general health. When you have a cold, you go and see the doctor. When you aren’t feeling great mentally, you should also see a professional. If you are having a hard time coping with your S.O. being away, visit a counselor once a week. Take care of yourself!

5. Spend Time in Prayer

You may feel lonely. You may be overwhelmed with worry and sadness. If you are a believer, God promises us that we can turn to Him as a refuge. He promises that He will give us comfort when we turn to Him. Take this hard time and turn it into a way to develop your relationship with God.

6. Vlog

When my boyfriend is gone, I do a weekly vlog for him. We have found that it helps him not feel so out of the loop once he gets back. It also helps me because I feel like I’m talking to him as I’m talking to the camera. At first, you may feel ridiculous filming yourself as you get dinner, but it becomes second nature.

The great thing about vlogging is that you get to keep the memories forever. You can show your kids what life is like when Dad or Mom is gone. You get to document all of the raw emotions you felt when your S.O. was gone.

7. Send Them Mail

If the whole vlog thing doesn’t sound very fun, try doing a daily journal. You can mail them your entries once a week and it will help them stay in the loop. Even when you do the vlog, you should still make a point to send them letters and care packages. They appreciate you thinking of them when they are gone. My boyfriend has said that when he gets mail, it completely boosts his morale and his mood.

Some Encouragement

If you are reading this because your S.O. is gone, I want you to know that I am praying for you. If you would like to request a prayer, feel free to leave a comment below or contact me through email or social media. I am always open to talking with my readers, especially when we have something so big in common.

You can do this. You are doing something that most people couldn’t do. Some people underestimate the strength and courage of a military S.O., but I know it is one of the hardest things. Stay strong and thank you for the sacrifice you have made as a military S.O.

Jesus Forgives My Sins, So I Can Do Whatever I Want, Right?

Wrong.

This blog post is going to step on some toes. It’s going to be convicting. I hope that if you feel offended by what I say in this blog post, you will recognize it as conviction rather than getting mad at me. I’ve lost friends over this topic, but the Truth has to be spoken.

Sinning vs. Living in Sin

There’s a huge difference between sinning and living in sin. We cannot continue with this topic without discussing the two. I also want to be clear about the difference, so feel free to comment a question if you have one.

What is Sin?

While the definition of sin seems to vary from pastor to pastor and from website to website, we can all agree that sin is something that goes against the Word of God. There are the 10 Commandments, which we can look to as a general list of sins to avoid committing. There are many other things that go against the Word of God, like doing drugs, watching pornography, judging others, and more. If you study the Bible and read through the Words of Jesus, you will get a great idea of what sin is. All sins are equal in God’s eyes, which is important to note as well.

Once you accept Jesus as your Savior, you should avoid sinning at all costs. As humans, sin unfortunately lives inside of us. There’s not a single human being on this planet who hasn’t sinned except Jesus Christ himself. I sin, you sin, your pastor sins, we all sin. And guess what, Jesus died for us to receive Grace, so we are forgiven for our sins. We are forgiven for the sin we committed 10 years ago, and we’re forgiven for the sin we commit in 10 years. This is great news because followers of Jesus are going to go to Heaven! But, should we take advantage of this Grace and lie, steal, cheat, do drugs, and continue to live in sin? No.

What is Living in Sin?

Living in sin is living for yourself and for the world. It’s living as if you do not believe in Jesus. You can absolutely believe in Jesus Christ but continue to live in sin, which is very important to know. Do you make zero effort to steer clear from sin and temptation? Do you still do recreational drugs and partake in sexual sin frequently? Do you wear promiscuous outfits to get the opposite gender to notice you? Do you still cuss during every single conversation you have? You may be living in sin still.

Again, we all make mistakes. To be transparent, instead of saying, “Oh my gosh,” I accidentally said, “Oh my God” just this past Friday. That’s blaspheme that I committed. As soon as it came out of my mouth, I repented for my sin because I felt horrible. If you say the ‘a’ word on complete accident one day, if you make a huge mistake and fall back into sexual addiction, as long as you truly repent for that sin, you are forgiven.

What’s the Difference?

In my opinion (which could be completely wrong and I will find out when I go to Heaven one day), sin is the accidental or unplanned mistake against the Word of God due to temptation. Once someone commits a sin, they repent for their sin because they regret defying God. Living in sin is the purposeful, way of life that defies the Word of God where frequent sinning occurs. With living in sin, there is a lack of forgiveness and repentance once sin occurs as well. I hope that makes sense. I do not want to shame a fellow sinner and make them feel as if they are living in sin when they are not.

Jesus Forgave My Sins. Can I Live in Sin Anyways?

NO. Please do not continue to live in sin. When you continue to live in sin, you are allowing Satan to win and control your life. As a believer in Jesus, you should strive to have Him control your life and live for Him.

Will I go to Heaven Either Way?

I cannot answer this question. Only God knows the answer to this question. I can tell you what the Bible says about this topic though.

Jesus made it very clear that he forgives all sins if you accept Him as Lord and if you repent for your sins. If you remember what I said about living in sin, those people do not feel any regret for their sins, nor do they seek God for forgiveness.

“Now after John was put in prison, Jesus came to Galilee, preaching the gospel of the kingdom of God, and saying, ‘The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand. Repent, and believe in the gospel.’” Mark 1:14-15 NKJV

“Then Peter said to them, ‘Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit…'” Acts 2:38 NKJV

The Bible is clear, you must repent for your sins and truly feel sorry for defying God’s Word. You may be thinking. Okay, I’ll sin and just say sorry and I’ll be fine. This worldly mentality has been spoken about by Jesus Himself.

“But why do you call Me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do the things which I say? Whoever comes to Me, and hears My sayings and does them, I will show you whom he is like: He is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. And when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently against that house, and could not shake it, for it was founded on the rock. But he who heard and did nothing is like a man who built a house on the earth without a foundation, against which the stream beat vehemently; and immediately it fell. And the ruin of that house was great.” Luke 6:46-49

So, according to Jesus, if you accept Him as Lord but continue to live in the ways of the world, you will fall like a house with no foundation. So please, stop living in sin. Hear the Word of God and change. Jesus does not say that those who continue to live for the world go to Hell, but His commands are clear. Even if Jesus said “If you continue to sin without repentance but still believe in Me, you will go to Heaven” you still shouldn’t. As a follower of Christ, you are called to put aside your life for Him.

Following vs. Believing

You have probably heard both “following Jesus” and “believing in Jesus”. Let’s be clear about this: You can believe in Jesus but not follow Him, but Jesus calls you to do both.

“Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. Matthew 16:24-25 NKJV

My goal of this blog post is to bring awareness of the difference between these two common words. Please, ask yourself, Am I following Jesus along with believing in Him? If you hesitate, you might be living in sin. The great news is, it’s never too late to change your life and be a follower of Christ. Jesus did not come to judge us, but he came to save us.

Please feel free to let me know what you think about this topic. Did I get it right? Are there some things I didn’t get right? I hope this blog post was helpful and convicting. Jesus loves you no matter what, and I hope I made that point clear in this post. If you’re ready to dive into your relationship with God, I have a blog post that will give you a quick guide on how to get started.

Sabbath: What It Is and How to Spend It

Traditionally, the Sabbath day was to be only on Sundays, to observe the day that God took to rest after creating the world. After Christ died for our sins, Christians were given the freedom to choose their Sabbath. Romans 14:5-6 says, “One person considers some days to be more sacred than others, while another person considers all days to be the same. Each person must have their own convictions. Someone who thinks that a day is sacred, thinks that way for the Lord…”, therefore, we are allowed to decide which day of the week we take a full 24 hours to rest.

I personally choose to spend my Sabbath on Saturdays. I have found that my soul feels more at rest when I take my day of rest on Saturdays, for many reasons. So, what does the day of rest look like to me? Here are a few things that I do, and some ideas for you to try out.

Start the day off with a Bible study

Unless I wake up incredibly late, the first thing I do every morning is get a cup of coffee, and do a few Bible plans on the YouVersion Bible App. On Saturdays, I will spend up to an hour doing a Bible Study while drinking my coffee. I will turn on some soft worship music and just spend time one-on-one with the Lord.

Spend time with yourself

I am pretty much alone all day on my Sabbath. If people ask me to shortly hang out on Saturday, I definitely will, but I don’t go out of my way to see people on Saturdays. I make sure that the great majority of my day is spent with the Lord, and not others. Being alone for me looks like: Taking an extra long shower, watching some YouTube videos, doing my nails, cleaning my apartments, and more.

Refuse to do any work or school work

This is the hardest part of taking a Sabbath, and it takes a lot of obedience. God calls you to trust that you will succeed at the work you do if you take a day of rest. Doesn’t an entire day of rest and relaxation where you don’t think about your work or studies sound amazing? It’s incredibly refreshing and it gives your brain the break it deserves.

Don’t forget that God, the creator of the universe, took a day to rest. Don’t feel lazy, or guilty, or even anxious about taking a day of rest. I challenge you to try to take a Sabbath this week. Remember, “Remember the Sabbath day and treat it as holy.“

Feeling Hurt and Pain on Christmas: The Truth

Christmas should be the happiest day of the year. It’s the day we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. When we’re in a season of pain and healing, the feelings and emotions don’t stop.

When I was a kid, we lived in the same state as our entire family. I spent Christmas surrounded by both sides of grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and both parents. Now, we live in a different state than our family, my parents are divorced, and a lot of our family members have gone to Heaven.

For a while, when we weren’t visiting our family or when our family wasn’t visiting us, Christmas was just me and my mom. This year, it’s me, my mom, her fiancee, his daughter, and our family friend that we have “adopted” into our family. I’m so incredibly thankful and blessed to have people to spend Christmas with, but I still find myself longing for it to be the same again. Christmas won’t be as large as it once was for a very long time. It probably won’t be the old size until I’m a grandma.

I’m also experiencing pain from other areas of my life, that seem to be broken forever. The pain doesn’t take a vacation just because it Christmas. It’s still very much there, and it feels like it has intensified because of the holiday.

The truth is, Christmas isn’t about the pain I feel, or the number of people that choose to celebrate Christmas with us, it’s about the birth of Jesus. I’m still in pain, and I cried within the first hour of waking up today, but I have to put myself aside because I’m not the one that matters. You know when your friend achieved something that you didn’t, but to be a good friend, you still had to be happy for them and celebrate? That’s the feeling I have this Christmas, and I might have that feeling for years to come. It’s hard, and I know Jesus understands that I’m in pain and that I’m desperately trying to cope, but I have to find the tiny bit of joy that’s left in my heart to celebrate.

I ordered “It’s Not Supposed to Be This Way” by Lysa TerKeurst, because she wrote it out of severe pain, a pain that I can’t imagine going through. When I write a blog post about the (I’m sure numerous) things I’ve learned from her book, I will link it here.

I hope you can’t relate to the pain I’m feeling, but I know that a lot of people do. I will be praying for all of you who do have this pain in your heart. You are not alone.

5 Cute and Easy Christmas Treats to Make This Year

Merry Christmas!

We’re all used to the traditional Christmas meal — Ham or turkey, stuffing, green beans, rolls, and so on. Dessert is the course that allows you some room to get creative. All of these treats are affordable, easy to make, and are great options for when you’re tired of gingerbread men and cookies.

Christmas Ornament Rice Krispie Treats by The Coupon Challenge

These Rice Krispie treats are too cute and they’re totally easy to make. I made these for my coworkers, and they were a huge hit!

Melted Snowman Sugar Cookies by Betty Crocker

These take some more preparation time, but they’re so creative and fun! Not to mention, the cookies taste great too!

White Chocolate Peppermint Pretzels by Lil’ Luna

These take only 15 minutes to make, they’re inexpensive, and they’re foolproof! The pretzels taste just as good as they look!

No-Bake Reindeer Oreo Cookies by Me & B Make Tea

Gingerbread men, move aside! These Oreo Reindeer are easier to make and they’re adorable!

Chocolate Covered Strawberry Christmas Trees by Lovely Little Kitchen

Cut up some strawberries, dip them in green candy melts, stick them on an Oreo, and you’ve got an adorable treat for your friends and family!

Let me know which treats you tried, and what you think of them! I hope these ideas made your Christmas meal preparation a little bit easier and less stressful.

Have a very Merry Christmas while you celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ!

Dive Into Your Relationship with God: A Guide for Development

The Bible calls us to do it. As believers, we know that we should pursue a relationship with God, but it’s hard to figure out how. Just to warn you, these tips aren’t easy. The things I’m about to recommend are hard to do. God is worth the hard work you’re about to put in to develop your relationship with Him, I promise. Here are some tips to help guide you through the development of the most important relationship you’ll ever have.

Pray at Least Twice a Day

I often place my relationship with God in the perspective of him being my friend on Earth. If I only spoke to a friend once or twice a month, and it was only when I needed them to do something that benefitted me, I don’t think I would be a very good friend. I’ve been there, where I would only pray when I wanted God to do something for me. The day I started praying daily, in the morning, at night, and casually throughout the day, was the day I felt like the door to my relationship with God was opened. I always find myself saying a short prayer for patience when something annoying is happening, or when something amazing happens, I’ll think, Thank you, God. Prayer doesn’t have to be getting down on your hands and knees for several minutes, it just has to be a quick talk between you and God.

Just to be clear, it’s okay if you don’t pray multiple times a day. This is just a tip for when you want to develop your relationship with God. If praying ever becomes a chore or if it ever feels forced, then it’s okay to take a step back and only pray once a day.

Read the Bible Everyday

I know you’re probably thinking, Hailey, you already told me to pray multiple times a day, and now you expect me to make time to read the Bible every single day? Yes, I am.

Hear me out. Being able to read the Bible is a huge blessing that we often take advantage of. If you’re reading this blog post, I’m going to assume that you live in a country where it’s not illegal to read God’s Word. Not to be upsetting, but people have been put to death for reading the Bible, and so I think it’s the ultimate blessing to be able to read it every day. Even if I do only one plan on the YouVersion Bible App, then I know I’m taking advantage of my greatest blessing. I’m not saying you must read an entire chapter every night to develop your relationship with God, but I think if we all set aside as little as five minutes of the day, we will see growth. It’s also amazing to read the great words that Jesus spoke, and read about the lessons that he taught his followers.

Similarly to my point about praying, if reading the Bible ever becomes a chore or if it ever feels forced, then it’s okay to take a step back and read the Bible when you feel like the Holy Spirit is calling you to.

Cut Out Music That’s Not God-Honoring

Okay, now you’re REALLY asking for a lot. I know I am. Try to stay with me!

Worship is a form of prayer. Singing God-honoring words like “There is no fear now that you haven’t conquered” or “You are my healer, you are the answer, Jesus you are” will help to develop your relationship with God immediately. Here’s a confession, I used to love rap music, like Gucci Mane and Lil Wayne rap music. When I accepted Jesus into my life, I quickly began to realize the toxic words that were being rapped into my ears. I then found musicians like Lecrae, Zauntee, and GAWVI, who genuinely have great music, but they have God-honoring lyrics. You don’t have to listen to old hymns to have God’s Word played into your ears. Spotify has some great playlists of the most popular Christian music, and you’re bound to find at least one band you like. There are many Christian artists that create music that sounds like the music you hear on Top 40 radio, you just have to listen and give it a chance.

Join a Bible Study

Finally! A tip that’s not asking you to change a big part of your life! Community is a huge part of growing your relationship with God. It’s great to have people around you who will support you and will be there for you if you have any questions about God. Click here to find an online Bible Study group!

I know this all seems difficult and I’m telling you to change your life, but the Bible calls us to do these things. It’s not easy, but it will be worth it when you feel joy in your heart and when you feel God’s presence for the first time.

How to Have Positive Thoughts When Times Are Hard

Why is it that hard times always seem to occur in cycles? When it rains, it POURS, every time. This has been a common theme throughout my life. When it’s finals week, family drama always occurs. When one of my family members are sick, relationship problems arise. Then, the stress of everything going on causes me to have health issues, which is yet another problem to manage. These are just some examples of what has happened in my life in the past month, and I assure you that all of these things do not occur consistently, only in seasons.

How do we cope with all of these seemingly negative things on top of everything else we already manage? The answer is easy.

Jesus.

I know you’re thinking, What do you mean Jesus? I mean that we must look to Him through these hard times and really lean on him. I used to suffer from a pretty extreme case of Anxiety Disorder, and I used to have to be in control, or else I would have an anxiety attack. I didn’t know Jesus up until 2016, and so it was incomprehensible for me to lean on Him. Once I gave my life to Christ, life got easier, things got less stressful, and I learned how to let go.

The best way to give all of these stressful, tear-jerking, crazy things to God is to submit to Him through prayer. For example, pray: “Dear Lord, I give all of the good things and the difficult things to you. I know that you have a plan for me and the people in my life. I fully trust that You will provide and that You will make everything perfect in the end. Please give me peace, and have Your hand over my life. Amen.”

I know this is difficult to do, I’ve been there. God will never let us down, and he has a plan for each of us. All He calls us to do is trust in Him, and He will provide.

Thank you for reading. You can get through the hard times with the support of Jesus Christ.